12 Things I Learned By 42 That I Wish I Knew At 22

1. Stay in school. Don’t quit.
Sure you’re bored now, but wait until you’re in a dead end job that you can’t stand but you’re afraid to lose. Getting finished with your degree will open up many more opportunities than you realize. I always wanted to go to law school, but without that sheepskin, I didn’t have a chance of even being considered. The lesson learned here is finish what you start by throwing yourself into it fully. Treat your college experience as if it were a job. Arrive on time, do your homework, study, and treat your learning if you were at a real job.

2. Money doesn’t spoil, it keeps.
Start investing early. How much stuff do you have to show for the money you made in high school and college? If I had invested half of what I made during those years in a plain old, broad based mutual fund I would have well over $192,000 with no other investments made since then. I’m still kicking myself. Invest early.

3. Don’t buy the first house you look at. Buy the cheapest house in the nicest neighborhood.
No, I didn’t actually do this, but it was close. We were so excited to be approved for a loan, having just come out of Consumer Credit Counselling Services that we jumped at the first house we found that met our minimum requirements. I still love that house today, but I wish we had gotten a better inspection, had looked into building, or had found a way to buy a house that was closer to work and school. The lesson learned, don’t be desperate with a large purchase.

4. Establish the habit of living within a budget.
Could anything be more important to insure you are living below your means? I tried on several occasions but I was never as faithful to this ideal as I should have been. Today, I make a salary high enough that a budget is a “yeah, we really ought to do that” kind of thing. My goal is to get that done. If I could do it over I would get myself in this habit at the earliest possible age. The lesson learned: budgetging is a freeing process, not a limiting one. If I had lived on a budget, I could have circumvented many painful events.

5. Learn how to negotiate a better deal on everything.
Having read several books on negotiation just a little too late, I’ve recognized how I was duped by many people, mostly used car sales people. Learning these skills would have saved me thousands. The lesson learned: prepare by educating yourself and always be willing to walk away.

6. Keep your medical insurance in force at all times.
Several years ago, I quit one job and took another that didn’t offer medical insurance until you had been there for 90 days. You guessed it, my wife had to have emergency surgery at 89 days. True story. 89 days. Do you think the insurance company cared? I’ll let you guess. Thankfully, we were at St. Vincent’s Hospital and they had mercy on us. The business manager told me (after looking over my financial situation) that someone paid our bill. I still get choked up thinking about it all these years later. It took us years to pay off the doctor and anesthesia bills, though. If I had just kept my coverage in effect for a little while longer. The obvious lesson: keep that insurance in effect. It is cheaper than the medical bills.

7. It’s quality of time at work, but quantity of time at home that matters.
Your boss really doesn’t care whether you have a family or not. Trust me. Unless you work for family members who DO understand that you need to pick the kids up early, or that you DO need to spend some time with your spouse, you are just a replaceable cog in the machine. When people are trying to grow a business, your need for personal time is secondary, so is the quality of your marital and family relationships. Just remember that when you’re old, sitting in a chair at the nursing home with a blanket on your lap and eating mush, you won’t regret that you didn’t get to spend more time at the office. The lesson learned: family will be there after the job is long gone. Value and treasure them.
8. Don’t listen to those who think there is a shortcut to wealth.
There is no shortcut. Wealth is created when you provide something interesting, unique and valuable to people who demand it. Until then, you will be trading hours for dollars and you’ll always think you’re underpaid. “Find a need and fill it” is the old mantra and it is still quoted because it’s true. In today’s world it should read “Create a need that only you can fill.” Then you’ll be on your way to wealth. The lesson learned: figure out where there are unmet needs and figure out a way to fill those needs.

8. Stay far, far away from any Multi Level Marketing “business” that requires you to sponsor new distributors.
They are all scams. You are not “CEO of your own distribution network”–you are a commission-based salesperson relying on the liquidation of your social capital (i.e. alienating your friends and family) to make any money at all…and 99.5% of people in MLM’s lose money, as has been shown again and again in numerous studies. The only profit you can ever make is by turning what would be called “customers” into “distributors” and then taking the money from the 99.995% that lose money in the organization and giving it to the 0.005% at the top (the people who started the whole “business” in the first place). Stay away!

9. Make sure your spouse’s values line up with your own.
This one step can single handedly determine your level of happiness more than just about any other. Scary isn’t it? If everything seems so right, yet he or she thinks credit should be used at will (and you don’t) or thinks that home schooled kids are strange (and you want your children to be home schooled), you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. Work these things out before you say “I do.” They say love is grand . . . and divorce is 50 grand. The lesson learned: talk to your spouse or potential spouse about what is important to you and the values you think should be taught to your children, even if you don’t plan on having children.

10. Learn how to network.
Learn to stay in touch with old friends from high school and college. Learn the skill of asking for help without seeming to be asking for help. Watch how others network. Remember it’s not what you know, it’s not even who you know, it’s how you USE what you know and who you know. One step further, it’s not who you know, it’s who knows YOU. Get in the practice of networking without expecting anything in return. Make sure you don’t come across as a brown nosing leech who is always trying to get an angle, but stay in touch with people. You never know who you may be able to help. The lesson learned: stay in touch and make sure you come across as helpful rather than helpless.

11. Never accept a job just because the pay is higher. Life is more than money. There’s a reason they’re offering you more. Yes it may be that you’re the most qualified. It may be that you have the most experience and the most education. It may be that no one can stand to work for that particular department head and a high salary is the only way to fill the position. Always ask where the person who last held the position is working now. Ask to speak with them, but always do it away from the office. People will give you more information outside of the office than inside. Inside the office, they’re committing treason, outside, hey - they’re just chatting with a friend. The lesson learned: Get the full scoop before jumping out of a frying pan into the fire.

12. Trust, but verify.
You can’t believe everything you hear, read, or were taught as a kid. You should always check references, ask probing questions, search out answers, and find ways to learn more about what you’re being told. This is a catch all but it is important. The world is full of schemers who are just waiting to take you for a ride. Don’t become cynical, but verify everything you can. The lesson learned: make sure you know who it is you’re dealing with and what their motives may be. Learn who you are and what motivates you. Learn what motivates your spouse and children. Learn what motivates your friends. Learn what motivates your co-workers, your boss, and your boss’s boss. Never stop learning, never stop growing. By the time you reach 42, kid, you’ll be a millionaire!

Work

It's not every so often that students are given the opportunity to work in a manufacturing environment with such great pay. But when the opportunity arises, each and every hard working person will seize the opportunity and take advantage of it. Yes, it is repetitive and montonous work, and you start to feel fatigue; your feet starts getting blisters and your hands start getting sore. But, at the end of the day, when you come home where you find comfort and love, everything negative that you felt and thought about at work just suddenly dissapears. But your bank account, on the other hand will be a different story =)

I just can't say enough of how very proud I am of you today. Extremely proud if I might add. You were exhausted after 8 hours, yet you took the opportunity to do a double and make that extra cash that was needed. That is strength and mental will; which some people don't even have, or even occur to them as having.

On the other hand, some people do not even deserve this job and pay, when they don't even take the initiative to call and ask if they are needed at work. It's just dissapointing to see you spend money via your credit, which eventually accumulates onto your father's bill. He's a hard working man/father/husband and he doesn't derserve this bullshit. Yes, it may be a different story, when you have the chance to work, compared to someone who has worked and is now unemployed because his contract has expired. But that other son, knows the value of a dollar and spends frugally even on necessary needs, or he just doesn't spend at all.

To my baby, again, I'm very proud of you. You know that and everyone else acknowledges that. But to the other person. Simply...FUCK YOU!

5 Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die

Dr. John Izzo interviewed over 200 people, researching the secrets of living a meaningful happy life. Wise elders advice and his experiences teach us how to practice them

Dr. John Izzo’s Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die (Berrett-Koehler, January 2007) is based on his highly acclaimed television series airing on Rogers in Canada and PBS in the U.S. He is also the bestselling author of Second Innocence.

Dr. Izzo interviewed thousands of people until he narrowed those down to 235 wise elders who found meaning and happiness in their lives. He was inspired to focus more on what mattered most after his wife suffered from a stroke close to his 50th birthday. The interviewing process was emotional but also a positive, fulfilling and life altering journey for Izzo.

Wise Elders Share Secrets

While John acknowledges some of the secrets will not necessarily be a surprise to people, he helps us learn how to apply them. In our present youth-oriented culture, elders are not valued as much, nor do they have as much influence and input in our lives as they should.

Some tribe elders consulted in Tanzania were shocked to learn many elderly people in our society were institutionalized and devalued, because in their culture they are honored for their wisdom.

He encourages us to interview our own wise elders, which not enough of us take the time to do. How much we value our elders is one way in which some cultures differ. Izzo also discovered many ways we are similar to each other regardless of race, religion or creed.

In the book he expands on each secret and then ends with questions to think about to put each secret into action. There is a whole chapter on putting the secrets to meaning into practice with weekly and daily reflections.

The Five Secrets You Must Know Before You Die:

1. Be true to yourself
While this is a common saying, he helps us explore whether we are being true to ourselves by questioning whether we are following our heart and focusing on what really matters.

2. Live no regrets
This requires living out of courage and not fear. Most people have some things they would have done differently, but Izzo noticed the ones that were happy did not dwell on regrets. A woman named Elsa in her seventies said that she received the most valuable advice from her daughter. “Mom, you just have to dust yourself off and get back up.”
Setbacks happen to everyone but it’s how people handle them that makes the difference. Some choose to stop risking or loving or trying and give up. While the ones that remain happier strive on continuing to love despite the risks.

3. Become love
One of the most important secrets is to “Become Love”. Dr. Izzo helps define this love to be more of a verb, since it involves choosing to act loving rather than the emotion of love. It is an important difference because even if you do not feel like giving love you can.
Some are too focused on the love they can get rather than give and that can have self-defeating and disappointing results. To act loving toward others we must first love ourselves. There is helpful information in Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die on how to do that.

4. Live the moment
Dr.Izzo writes, “I came to believe that through this secret, live the moment, they were telling me to judge my life less and enjoy it more.”

5. Give more than you take
Accumulating material possessions, seeking love and fame are not ways people will find happiness and meaning. Serving others is what brings long-term fulfillment.

http://www.thestar.com/News/article/291337